I’ve always had an issue with being the first person to text others first, the first person to reach out to others first, etc. It’s a lot better now, but it’s still something I don’t like to do. When it comes to arguments or conflicts with friends, I’m much more comfortable about being the first person to speak up. I wouldn’t mind being the first person to address the situation even if I wasn’t wrong in the first place, just to clear the air and get our friendship back on track.
But when it comes to him, I still can’t let down my pride to ask how he’s doing. I don’t want to shoot him a text first, just because I feel like the ball should be in his court to fix this. Over the years, I’ve always been the one to give in and let go of my pride for the sake of our friendship. When will he be able to give up his pride for me?
But at the same time, I have been forgiven. I have been given grace. I have only been looked on with love and compassion by the Father.
I have been given more than I could ever give. The least I could do is try my best to give what I can to others.
God, I’m going to really need you to partner with me here, because it’s so hard for me to let down my pride for him after all these years. It’s so hard for me to be the one to always give in first. But I know that You’ve given me grace, and even though I’ve been hurt by all of this, I’m willing to look past it for the sake of our friendship… once again. I can only begin to understand how You feel when I stray away from Your path time and time again, yet You still love me time and time again. The least I can do is try to do the same for others.