I already know this is going to sound strange. Lately I’ve been having this weird feeling like I don’t really belong anywhere except in my room here in my apartment. I love just sitting here, jamming to music, perhaps reading a book, but I’ve just been feeling uncomfortable being outside, at school, on campus, back home in SF, etc. Maybe it’s my introvert side coming out. Perhaps I’ve been wearing myself out by hanging out with too many people throughout the week (I can only handle social events/hang outs in tiny doses). Perhaps I’ve just been trying too hard to hold up an image of myself that doesn’t really reflect who I am and how I feel. Or maybe I’m just tired and ready for school to end. But I think I’m gonna need a lot of time to just be by myself at home to recharge my social batteries, for lack of better words. Time to read, and reflect, and read some more. My friend prayed for me earlier this week, telling me that it does get tiring to try and be the person that people want me to be instead of being who I really am. Maybe sometimes I don’t want to be all giggly and sassy. Maybe sometimes I just want to sit by myself, to be still and just listen. Not that I’m trying to be antisocial, but I really think I just need some time to myself before I can get back out there in the social atmosphere.
This sounds so weird, but… I gotta say what I’m feeling.